LunchTIME!
by azzami
Summary: Temari cooks Shikamaru a very,very weird lunch...


Okay,now here is a simple romance about Shikamaru and Temari.I absolutely love writing about this two,they're really a funny pair...

* * *

Temari, well, you can really say that she doesn't have any _really _big women figures in her life. I mean, her grandma's stone-dead, and her mother died when she was...approximately when she was seven years.So, you can say that Temari doesn't have somebody to talk to her...about...we-ell...You know,_ woman _things.

A rather ginormous example of this little problem was when she first had her period and thought she was going to die. She didn't tell her father because you know, the blood was coming from a rather private place.So,for nearly three consecutive months, little ten year old Temari remained steadfastly convinced that she had a horrible cancerous disease and she going to die in a matter of time.

So, all the time while her period's coming, she placed handkerchiefs into her underwear and prayed to anybody that nobody would notice her. The turning point came when she walked past a class of twelve year olds having their Sexual Education class. So she stopped there and listened...and listened...And her eyes popped out and she simply fainted clean away.

The reason Temari didn't know she was having her period was because Suna children only had their Sexual Education classes when they were twelve, and she graduated at ten. After that little enlightening piece of information, Temari went out and used her pocket money to buy pads to use.

And like any normal girl, she had a crush on someone. A certain pine-appled headed Chuunin.And if that wasn't a big enough hint, you are a blockhead. She couldn't tell her brothers, of course.Kankuro would merely laugh his head off and say Temari was joking, since she couldn't like a guy because she was a lesbian. This earned him a huge bop on the head.

And Gaara...Well...Admittedly, she doesn't really know about Gaara's personality, but one thing she was sure aout, very, very sure, once she told Gaara about the guy in question, he will suddenly die mysteriously as a squished puddle of blood.

Temari was rather alone in other words, even though Kankuro and Gaara had changed, both of them now becoming, in a rather weird way, little brothers to Temari.I mean…They were _boys,_ for goodness sake…

* * *

It was a Saturday night when Temari went out to the ramen stall. She had remembered vaguely that they had only pickles and strawberries in the fridge. (Somehow, even when all the foodstuffs ran out, there would always be fresh strawberries in the fridge)

The old lady,Izumi,had packed the ramen with a cheeriness that was rather shocking to Temari,since it was about ten o'clock, and she was just about to pack up when Temari came charging down the street.

Soon, their conversation meandered from mere greetings to simple stories, gossip, and weather lore and inevitably…men.Temari was sitting with her elbows on a table, listening to Izumi narrating a colourful, vulgarity-puntchered story about the husband that left her so many years back.

"….And so I threw that useless f-ing no-good-son of a homeless bitch out of my home…"

Temari snickered quietly into her hands. She had enjoyed the part about Izumi throwing the hot pot of ramen soup she was cooking at her husband when he told her that he was leaving her. Then Izumi patted her on the back.

Temari looked up in slight surprise, staring at Izumi's wrinkled, lined face.

"You must have lots of suitors, young lady, am I right?"

Temari twiddled her fingers, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Well…Not really. But I do like a guy."

No sooner was that out when Temari clapped her hand over her face, burning up with embarrassement.However, old Izumi shrugged and smiled. There was a knowing glint in her eye as she patted Temari on the back again.

"Oh…And you would want to know if he likes you right? Let old Izumi teach you a surefire method…"

* * *

Shikamaru looked at the…brown glop on his bowl.Honestly, there was no way else to describe it. It was a dirty diarrhea brown, with bits of charred fish sticking out of it. There was a small piece of cucumber floating languidly on a layer of oil and…was that _chili _he smelled?

Temari smiled sweetly at him, wiping the sweat on her forehead away with a hand. It must be a first for her, she actually persuaded Shikamaru to come and try her cooking, after dropping hints and getting Ino, TenTen, Hinata and Sakura to help her for a week.

It was because old Izumi said you mustn't just grab a kunai and point it at him, you must get his real opinion.But, of course, Izumi had said with an amused smile, if he really _did_ like you, that wouldn't be his honest opinion.

Shikamaru was really regretting it.

Temari tapped Shikamaru bowl with her finger and said, with her sweetest, brightest and most mega-watt smile." Eat up, eat up, Shika dear!"

Shikamaru hesitated then placed his spoon into the glop. He slowly lifted the spoon up to his mouth and winced, just slightly. Then he stuck it into his mouth.

For a very, very long minute, silence.

"I…It…Very good."


End file.
